gYPSyKate’s Caravan

It started on Maundy Thursday, this almost overwhelming feeling of missing someone and something…

My grandparents whom I adored, long dead… My dad who just died last February — I can’t seem to get his smiling face and speaking eyes off my head… My sweetheart who is on the other side of the world… Friends from my school days whom I’ve lost contact with…

Even Pets that died.  I remember them all, from the first pet I lost, Pussy my cat who was brutally killed by mean, heartless neighbors — Pussy waited for me and died in my arms… all my other cats and dogs that died… to the most recent pet I lost, my parrot Birdie who could always tell when I was already at the gate of our house, even before I rang the bell.  She must have tried to wait for me, too, but died while I was away.  I was gone for a week, and no one could tell that she was sick.  I could have known if I were around.

I usually pray a lot during Holy Week.  Good Friday now, and I have been without sleep for more than 24 hours… haven’t done a thing away from my computer.  I’m afraid that if I pray, I’d start crying and have a hard time stopping.  I feel that everyone and everything I miss is close by, I feel their presence so strongly… just like the wind blown directly to my face by the electric fan — I can almost touch but not quite.  Just like God whom I also feel so close, yet never close enough to touch.

I know I’m blessed with so many loved ones around me — especially my daughters whom I love so much.  But, today — and, hopefully, just today — I feel closer to those who aren’t around.   

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 5th, 2007 at 2:00 pm and is filed under Life Journey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.